Site Information

 Loading... Please wait...

Blog

Like Us On Facebook

9 Ben Folds songs for 9 awkward occasions

Posted by Catie Payne on

Even brushing past Ben Folds on a suburban street in Adelaide came with a soundtrack. The clop of my shoes gaining speed as I minced along with little happy steps, sharing the footpath with a childhood musical hero.

He was wearing a terry toweling bucket hat and licorice-strap specs. But you already knew that.

I didn’t grab his arm or demand a selfie, because that would make me uncool for the duration of our five second relationship.

Instead I clipped past in percussive appreciation, thinking about how nicely his songs pair with awkward moments. In fact, the music of Ben Folds (Five) constitutes the perfect life soundtrack (if your life is characterised by mishaps, trip ups and sensational spills).

To mark the 20 year anniversary of Ben Folds Five’s second album Whatever and Ever Amen, here are 9 Ben Folds (Five) songs you can turn up for comfort in times of heartache, heartbreak, insecurity and bad hair days.

1. One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces - For when your girlfriend wears monster, towering heels to that red-carpet event you’re attending with 200 paparazzi. You weren’t that big to begin with, and now the height disparity is making you nervous, ‘specially since it’s all being immortalised on film.

2. There’s always someone cooler than you - For when you’ve received excess praise, lost a bunch of weight, think you’re pretty sh** hot or otherwise need a reality check. There’s always, always someone cooler than you.

3. Brick - To exponentially increase any feeling you’re having. #feels

4. Song for the Dumped - For break-ups involving loaned band t-shirts, inconsistent boundaries and the impulse to falsetto-scream expletives, even though you’re usually a pretty calm and collected kinda guy/gal.

5. Cigarette - For when your significant other is a drunken pyromaniac and you’re feeling jaded, beholden and everything but benevolent towards them.

6. Underground - For when you want to be ironic at your indie-rock funeral. You won’t be there, but your guests will appreciate it. And/or when you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance re. becoming uber famous… even though your lifelong ethos has been to avoid mainstream models of career fulfillment. But...the money!

7. Army - For when you find yourself with no friends, an Oporto addiction, and a blank defence force form in front of you. Don’t do it.

8. Don’t change your plans - For when you’re dating someone with plans to move overseas - but you’re not really that into them anyway, and were kinda looking forward to an easy out... but then they go all gooey and insist that you should move too, or they should stay, and you have to delicately convince them to hold true to their original trajectory to spare you the break up convo. Know the feeling?

9. Landed - For when your plane is touching down after a flight full of turbulence and you need the bathroom, bad.


What about you? Got any Ben Folds moments? Awkward occasion soundtrack recommendations? Hit us!